A Bizarre Week

I'm so glad to be home. This week was nothing short of Bizarre. I went to Camp Sertoma in Westfield, NC. Basically in the middle of NOWHERE. It was at the base of the mountains. I had to go to satisfy summer experience requirements for NC Teaching Fellows. After signing my soul away, this was the only experience that they paid for. So I was a servant of Stokes County via the 4-H program.

I arrived to a pleasant place, tucked away in the woods with an 1800's hotel, a few new cabins and a big barn converted into a gym inside. The new cabins were nice, and the smell of fresh wood is still in all my luggage from the trip. We figured out they had air conditioning after a night of sauna-like conditions. The first day we learned everything we would be teaching from a woman whose voice grated on my last nerve and called every male at the camp an assortment of endearments. "Honey, baby, sweetheart, darling, love, get that bucket for me." Ugh. Made me sick.

We went into schools everyday and taught about soil composition, compost, environmentally friendly practices and water. We taught third and fourth graders all about these interrelated science topics. Being a Secondary Music Education major, these were 4 virtually pointless days of my life. I learned what poor planning can do, and that there are crazy people EVERYWHERE. We had to design a 4-H lesson. Naturally, what with me being a slave to Weight Watchers, I chose to do a nutrition and activity session. I drew possibly the best food pyramid ever, taking a grand total of 2 hours to complete, seeing as I am not a great visual artist.

I made a few new friends and was reunited with people from Discovery and learned a lot about the girls in my cohort at Western. If it hadn't been for Mallory, Jenny, Katrin, and Christine, I may have lost my mind. We had a nothing short of STRANGE experience with a girl from Queens University who told us her life story in 4 days, unsolicited, of 'course. We heard all sorts of racial comments and on our final night she called her hispanic husband who spoke no english and he came to the campground. It was against the rules and we were SOOOO scared, knowing nothing about him. Needless to say, the bizarre week ended and I was glad to be back in Hillsborough.

I was scared of this event mainly because I knew it would be hard to keep up with my weight loss goals when I wasn't in control of the menu. I memorized the portion control chart according to your hand, and I drank a ton of water as well as getting a great workout in everyday. And I was pleasantly surprised at the scales this week when I lost one pound, meaning I lost my first 5 lbs! I got my sticker and was absolutely thrilled. It was a great feeling. Now that I'm home and back in control of what I eat and exercise, I am relieved.

Next week, we're looking at my second interview at Croasdaile Village, and I hope I get the job and can start working! Wish me luck, in ALL these endeavors.

A Taste of Success

I got a taste of what it feels like to succeed today. I went to Weight Watchers for my first weigh in after I started their plan. And... I LOST 4 POUNDS! In 1 week! How Awesome is THAT! I was beyond ecstatic. This made me feel empowered. This made me feel like saying no to cookies was a good thing.

And even better, I am starting to feel better too! I followed the plan, it worked. I exercised almost every day, and its paying off. I'm starting to feel the effects of working and having my efforts rewarded. And I'm not hungry all the time. I'm satisfied and I take pride in myself for cooking my own meals, preparing the food, cleaning up, working out. It's almost cathartic. (Well... It is.)

I've never seen myself as one of those people who ENJOYED working out and sweating and feeling their heart race and their legs feel like jello the next day. But now? I'm really enjoying it. And it's because I'm doing it for me. Not for anyone else. And the only person who can judge me, is me.

I was elated to actually start my weight loss journey, but next week will be hard since I'll be at camp four days next week for Teaching Fellows. I will use my hand as my portion guide and really try to exercise and drink water. That's the skills Weight Watchers has taught me so far in how to handle situations like this. I guess next Saturday at weigh in will be the ultimate test of how well I handled it.

In other, non-weight related, news, I got a callback from the Home Care Supervisor at Croasdaile for my second and final interview! So that looks like it is a go for the summer and beyond. Which would be one of my goals crossed off the to-do list. Hopefully everything will work out in that department.

I'm so proud of myself. For once in a long time. I am determined. I am succeeding at losing. (Weight, that is.) I'm happy with me. Now if I didn't miss Ryan so much, or if he was here to celebrate with me, that is the only way this victory could be any sweeter.

Sticking With It

Today is Day 5. I have successfully been watching my points and writing EVERYTHING down that I eat. So far, you could say I've been successful in my Weight Watchers efforts. I choose healthier foods, I make smarter choices, I try to get in everything on the good health guidelines.

I ran into one snag in the plan, or maybe just me. I was eating the right foods, exercising portion control, following all the rules: One of them is taking a multivitamin every day. Well, I got my One-a-Day Women's vitamin, but it made me throw up. Anyone have an explanation, or the same problem with this?

In the meantime, I've also been putting some of my focus towards exercising. I usually just stick to my "Walk Away the Pounds" 1 mile walk. I gave the 30 minute walk [without weights] for 2 miles a try. It was harder than the one mile and wore me OUT. I've also tried a Broadway Sweat video. That was longer, but slower paced. In any case, I'm changing it up and thats the important thing.

In other news, I have been trying to find a job. I got called for an interview with Human Resources at Croasdaile Village, the job I really wanted as a Home Care Companion. I was recommended for my second interview with the Home Care Supervisor, which means I'm pretty much in. I just want to make sure that I can get enough hours before I say no to another job. I also got a call from J.C. Penny, which was my LAST choice because it takes so much gas to get there. But I told her I wasn't available until after my Junior Enrichment experience next week.

Anyway, I'm well on my way to accomplishing my goals for this summer. I have interviews and prospects for jobs, have started exercising, and am well on my way to achieving my weight loss goals.

Honeymooning

This is what is known as the "Honeymoon" period. Where everything is exciting, and new, and cute! That's how Weight Watchers is for me now. Not to say it didn't take a lot of guts, and a lot of work on my part today, but I have to say; I'm pretty ecstatic about the whole situation.

So I woke up, showered, measured out my serving of cereal this morning and headed to my Nana's to attend a meeting, register, and (sigh) weigh in. I got to the meeting place with my Nana and when I walked in the door, a most unexpected thing happened. I was FLOODED with memories of my first Weight Watchers experience. It was very peculiar, yet I was glad to be filled with this sort of nostalgia.

I registered, paid, *weighed* and settled into the happy truth that this would be a definitive point of change in my life. After listening to a meeting, we sat in the circle of new members and learned about changes to the program since I left. Not much to tell; count, track, eat filling foods and exercise.

Afterwards, I put my newfound skills (and "Dining Out Companion") to good use. I went to Cracker Barrel with my Nana. We ate a FILLING meal and I walked out with a total of 6 points. Thats less that I would NORMALLY eat for a meal. Needless to say, I felt like I could accomplish anything!

Then we hit the grocery store. Kroger. The land of fresh produce. The only place in Durham that I felt that I could get quality produce that would keep for me to eat. We loaded up the cart with more vegetables and fruits than really should be allowed for two people. After pouring lean meat, wheat pasta, fat-free, sugar-free, low-carb, and plenty of Weight Watcher branded foods into the cart, we loaded up the car. Then to unload and separate at Nana's. Then into my car. Then into my house. Then upstairs to my room. Clearly, I earned my activity points for the day.

After all that, I babysat for 5 hours. Two kids. My cousins. Good pay. Overall, not a bad evening, if I hadn't been about to fall asleep from sheer exhaustion. But the money was worth it. And a video on my phone of my three and seven year old cousins performing the "Single Ladies" dance with every ounce of energy I lacked.

I say all that to say this: I. AM. READY.

I have never felt more energized, empowered, motivated, and overall excited about my life and the activities in it. I'm ready for anything and I'm happy for ME, finally. I hope this continues after next saturday at the next weigh in.

The Last Supper

So. Tomorrow is the big day. The big "weigh in," no pun intended. What spurred me into doing this only one day after writing my Summer Goal blog? Two words.

SCALE. SHOCK. It was horrible. I expected to weigh in at the weight I joined last time, but I am 10 pounds over what I was last time. I actually was in disbelief. So, needless to say, I'm getting ready to start the journey back to a normal size, and hopefully, a more pleasant version of me.

I had what is known as "the Last Supper." You know, we've all done it. The night before you start a new diet you completely pig out on all your favorite foods because you know you won't be able to have them. It started with lunch. I tried to counteract the impending fat and cholesterol with a salad, with very oily dressing, I might add. I had an order of Fried Pickles from the Gulf Rim Café. Positively to DIE for. I also had a spearmint lemonade locopop, as well as bought a Belgian chocolate buttercream truffle from Matthew's. I know it sounds like spearmint and lemonade wouldn't go together, but they were absolutely amazing, especially as hot as it was.

Before going to my grandmother's to enjoy my final FEAST for her birthday, I decided to try and cut the calories I had from lunch, since I AM weighing in tomorrow. I began my exercise routine of choice.

"Walk away the Pounds" with Leslie Sandsone. Wonderful. A grandmothers gift to a 15 year old porker 4 years ago is still what I go to for a video workout. Since I don't want to pay money to go to a gym, and hardly use it, and I already own these videos, I figured "why not?"

I forgot "why not." Those tapes are hard for someone who has been a couch potato for a while. And her voice is a little grating, yet familiar. It was odd. I didn't like it, but at the same time, I did. Maybe its my cold feet, or my fear, but I wasn't going to go back on that scale, so I figured I had better learn to like her.

After working up a sweat, I went to Nana's and gorged myself of a Red Robin "Bleu Ribbon" Burger, steak fries, and Ice Cream cake with lots of Icing. It was delicious. And a great way to say, "goodbye, world of taste." Hello, cardboard pasta.

Its okay. I've come to accept the fact that my palate will change over this process, but so will my body, and that's a compromise I suppose I'll have to make.

As I sit here, eating the last of my Belgian Chocolate Truffle, I pray that whoever reads this isn't going to think I'm just a pudgy nobody. I hope you'll support me.

A Goal in Mind.

I have just begun my Summer of 2010. There are going to be a lot of milestones during these three months, but more so, a lot of setting up for milestones in my near future.

My 20th birthday is just around the corner. Can you believe I've made it two decades? I can't believe that I am almost out of my teen years forever! It seems odd to say, but on one hand, I don't feel like I'll be out of my teens until I'm 21. (You know, when your life REALLY begins.) I don't know why they picked such an odd age. Now, I have to consider stepping into a new decade part of my teen-hood. I suppose I could always call it twenty-teen. ;)

I am interviewing for a summer job on Monday at Croasdaile Village as a Home Care Companion. This will hopefully be a job that I can keep for winter breaks, spring break, and summers to return to and earn some money.

But beyond that, my goal this summer is to get healthy. I was looking through some pictures on my computer and ran across all the ones from when I was at a healthy weight. I looked incredible. I was confident, and I gave off a totally different vibe than . . . now. So I'm going back to Weight Watchers to gain back my figure, my confidence, and my life. I'm also going to help my grandmother do the same thing. Teamwork.

Ultimately, my goal for this summer is to transform. Transform the physical, the mental, the emotional. Physical, we discussed. But being apart from Ryan will really make this hard on the other aspects. We are so close.

But this summer I get to reinvent myself. I am going to hang out with my friends, by any means necessary. I am going to engage myself. I am going to dream and find out what made me confident and vibrant, because I'm too young to feel this old. My job, my appearance, my activities, myself. Those are my goals this summer. Lets see how much I accomplish after the summer ends.